“Chrissy, thanks for this. What is your spin on say my ex alienating my immediate family members such as a sister, which is what she has done through a smear campaign against me, effectively creating a rift in our family. What then has happened is that my nieces and nephews have been turned against me and my children still interact with them, but it has been reported that I am “bad uncle?” This is terribly distressing for both me, my children and my other family members, vis a vis my parents etc. Your thoughts please.”

My last entry has led to further questions about “Family Alienation”.  In most cases of alienation the alienating parent starts an alliance with whoever can help them brainwash or is what I call an easy target.  Alienating Parents will do one of two things when it comes to families.

1.    They will alienate the entire family if they can’t be brainwashed themselves. The child/children will have no further contact with any family member that is a threat to expose the who they really are and the truth about the parent in question as the “bad parent”

2.    The second action plan is like the one statement above- to allow everyone to become one with their lie. They expand on the alienation to have the best allies, your own family.

In the circumstances as with this family is an explosive array of mistrust and loss.  The family unit and extended unit are broken.  It is easier to alienate if your own family is under the spell as well. The children are watching trusted love ones associate and promote the behavior.  Now you’re fighting an uphill battle with not only trying to prove yourself to your children but your extended family as well. The team has become more massive in numbers to retract what once was.

The struggle is enough to make you go insane as well as the other family members who understand what is taking place.  First I would suggest going to the source in this case brother/sister and talking with them with the presence of one or both parents. If this is not applicable then little by little I would approach the subject. They are now in the same mind set as the ex and the children.  Your work is doubled and sometimes you might have to take the high road.  Family is important and it hurts when your own turn against you.

I think this is pure hatred at its fullest poetinatal.  Children caught in this type of crossfire are influenced by the alienating parent to become one with this fantasy and now there is a third party validation to prove their mindset.  The confusion becomes clearer with these odds.

My recommendations would be as follows

Keep sending cards and phone calls if possible to all parties involved.

Have an extended family meeting with participant that believe your side if possible

Family counseling with a professional who is grounded in the foundation of Parental Alienation

Make arrangements for trusted members of your family to take children for a visit that will reintroduce the idea of the bond you share. (This gives you a chance at third party validation)

Children in these circumstances are robbed and I feel for them. They are fooled by the impression that the facts before them are false. Alienators are hidden in who they are and led other to believe they are the victims. In truth they are out for their own agenda and hatred that needs to be exposed.

The hope in this if the family members come to their senses they can be used as a tool for reunification.  There is no definite answer to this but to keep trying in all directions and show that unconditional love is what is shown in a family unit.

Bookmark It

Hide Sites