It has been a while since I have written a blog about a child’s perspective on parental alienation.  There are times before bed I think about the past and wonder if I did something different would it have been the same.  I have come a long way in my advocacy from the time I started and I always believe in hope for the future.  I think my life would have been different if alienation was not involved.

My life as a child was painful and has had an impact on my adult life and everyday situations.  I grew up in a home based on fear and constant arguing. Secretly I remember feeling happiness when my mom left because she would no longer be knocked around.  In this time span I went from being happy to hating her with influence from my dad. I often wonder in the beginning if he did the things without knowing or if it was in his agenda the whole time.  In my opinion I think he knew looking back at his precise timing and skill.

I know myself that as an adult I suffer in many areas. I have many issues and battle with so many thoughts and decisions. Growing up trying to please everyone and feeling crazy all time takes a toll on child. I used to be angry all the time and as I matured I run from conflict. I always felt that communication was a bridge for failure and pain. If you let someone in they will hurt you. I have built walls in everything I do and it really is time to let it all go.

It is hard to change the things in your life when you have grown up with these morals in your head. In many cases children of alienation either take the role as the alienator or become alienated as parents.  I believe over time that just like a child is taught in their younger years it carries with them into adult hood. A child never feels complete ever and they don’t know why. Parental Alienation is a form of emotional abuse it weighs on the mind and heart. There are no marks visibly seen it is a deep dark hidden secret that pulls you down in an endless abyss of blackness. There are punishments for not following “the rules”.  There is no calm portion of being torn in two and losing your mind to someone else’s thought pattern. The justice system being the way it is gives children little comfort to speak up and tell the truth even if they wanted to do so. You might ask why and the answer is because there is a high probability they will still end up back with the AP.

There are many children out there with the pain that I share with you all on occasion. There are so many mixed feelings in a child that change depending on the day and the influence in their thoughts. This slow destruction of a child/adult is playing with fire because it takes a long time to find out who you really are as a person. Parental Alienation is the modern day holocaust for children. They are fooled into thinking some idea or fantasy only to be led to inner destruction by the hand of a sick person. A person deep seeded with hate, anger, and a form of discrimination towards others.  Hitler went and made mini Hitler’s to carry out his duties. He instilled hate into many and brainwashed a whole army to seek, kill, and destroy.  The Jewish community prayed to be free and lost hope of finding this freedom. But like Hitler there will be a time when the alienator fails.

“He alone, who owns the youth, gains the future.” 
Adolf Hitler 

How true of a statement is this for an alienator?

“If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.”

Adolf Hitler

I believe it is only fitting after using the analogy of the holocaust to end this with a quote from Anne Frank

“… in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can’t build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery, and death. I see the world gradually being turned into a wilderness, I hear the ever approaching thunder, which will destroy us too, I can feel the sufferings of millions and yet, if I look up into the heavens, I think that it will all come right, that this cruelty too will end, and that peace and tranquility will return again.” – Anne Frank 

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Parental Alienation is almost similar to the movie War of the Worlds except the concept seems to portray the title War of the Words. Does one child ever fully recover from the words used to bring hate and anger? Can they move past the destruction, false memories, betrayal, and systematic behavior? The alienating parent has destroyed any belief of having a mentally healthy child. The AP will not realize because in most cases they have a mental issues themselves.
A child goes through strong emotions and deals with the circumstances in various ways. A number of adolescents rebel and act out in vicious behavior while others silently suppress the issues. A parent’s first reaction is to “explain” who they really are to the child. During this time the child is trying to put pieces together of fact from fiction.
The interaction with a child/parent becomes a war of words. The parent defending their actions and bringing truth while the child has trouble understanding the factors between the parents. There is a war of words between the parents, children, and extended family.
The tool used in alienation is words and the speech patterns that impose fear into the children. Children receive praise for bad behavior towards the targeted parent. Some family units allow the children to do whatever they want so they don’t want visit or live with TP because there is rules.
The dysfunctional thinking process that the parent has influences the child to believe their side of the story. The time comes when the child’s thinking process is paralyzed and they feed off the alienating parent’s emotion. Mom/Dad is mad at me if I spend time with the other parent. Children feel the emotion and look for reactions so they know how to react.
The family unit then gets introduced to the judicial system. The targeted parent goes in thinking that they will receive justice. It is then that the war of words starts in the courtroom and we realize that there is no justice. It is an emotion that leads to losing all hope, for example if we watched a family member get murdered in front of us and we watched them get away with it and receive no punishment. This is the feeling many parents walk out of court feeling… baffled.
The war of the words damage many people but in the end the children suffer.

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You are not alone

 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Moms of Michigan Providing an outreach for Non Custodial Mothers in Michigan

Moms of Michigan is dedicated to helping mothers without custody, step mothers and grandmothers. We pledge to continue to support and educate mothers without custody and the general public to bring awareness about these circumstances that break the bonds between a child and their mother.

We are much more than a support system but also a dedicated community of mothers who are seeking reform in our judicial system. We are coming together to enlighten medical professionals, attorneys, CPS, family court systems, and the education system about the factors surrounding non custodial parents.

Moms of Michigan is affiliated with The National Association of Non-Custodial Moms, Inc. (NANCM) Here is your quote from Celeste Chappell-Bates, Executive Vice President/Chief Operating Officer of the National Association of Noncustodial Mothers, Inc. (NANCM). :-)
 
“While there has been a relatively recent (and rightful) equalization in custody determination, there are too few capable support systems in place to help women adjust to their resulting less-active parenting role, or help them weather the stigma that current society places on noncustodial mothers. Noncustodial mothers are not always the monsters, drug addicts, or uncaring parents that most people immediately assume they are; they are still fit and loving regardless of their noncustodial status.
 
Hopefully the Michigan Mothers that find this website find friendships and camaraderie with other noncustodial mothers find resources to help them learn that that they are NOT alone, and help them find peace with their noncustodial status.
 
NANCM is happy to be affiliated with Moms of Michigan and is excited about this website debut!” 
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For more information on Moms of Michigan or to schedule an interview with Christina Chrzanowski , please call 989-569-3143 or email info@momsofmichigan.org

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