Parental Alienation:A modern day “Holocaust”
It has been a while since I have written a blog about a child’s perspective on parental alienation. There are times before bed I think about the past and wonder if I did something different would it have been the same. I have come a long way in my advocacy from the time I started and I always believe in hope for the future. I think my life would have been different if alienation was not involved.
My life as a child was painful and has had an impact on my adult life and everyday situations. I grew up in a home based on fear and constant arguing. Secretly I remember feeling happiness when my mom left because she would no longer be knocked around. In this time span I went from being happy to hating her with influence from my dad. I often wonder in the beginning if he did the things without knowing or if it was in his agenda the whole time. In my opinion I think he knew looking back at his precise timing and skill.
I know myself that as an adult I suffer in many areas. I have many issues and battle with so many thoughts and decisions. Growing up trying to please everyone and feeling crazy all time takes a toll on child. I used to be angry all the time and as I matured I run from conflict. I always felt that communication was a bridge for failure and pain. If you let someone in they will hurt you. I have built walls in everything I do and it really is time to let it all go.
It is hard to change the things in your life when you have grown up with these morals in your head. In many cases children of alienation either take the role as the alienator or become alienated as parents. I believe over time that just like a child is taught in their younger years it carries with them into adult hood. A child never feels complete ever and they don’t know why. Parental Alienation is a form of emotional abuse it weighs on the mind and heart. There are no marks visibly seen it is a deep dark hidden secret that pulls you down in an endless abyss of blackness. There are punishments for not following “the rules”. There is no calm portion of being torn in two and losing your mind to someone else’s thought pattern. The justice system being the way it is gives children little comfort to speak up and tell the truth even if they wanted to do so. You might ask why and the answer is because there is a high probability they will still end up back with the AP.
There are many children out there with the pain that I share with you all on occasion. There are so many mixed feelings in a child that change depending on the day and the influence in their thoughts. This slow destruction of a child/adult is playing with fire because it takes a long time to find out who you really are as a person. Parental Alienation is the modern day holocaust for children. They are fooled into thinking some idea or fantasy only to be led to inner destruction by the hand of a sick person. A person deep seeded with hate, anger, and a form of discrimination towards others. Hitler went and made mini Hitler’s to carry out his duties. He instilled hate into many and brainwashed a whole army to seek, kill, and destroy. The Jewish community prayed to be free and lost hope of finding this freedom. But like Hitler there will be a time when the alienator fails.
“He alone, who owns the youth, gains the future.”
Adolf Hitler
How true of a statement is this for an alienator?
“If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.”
Adolf Hitler
I believe it is only fitting after using the analogy of the holocaust to end this with a quote from Anne Frank
“… in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can’t build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery, and death. I see the world gradually being turned into a wilderness, I hear the ever approaching thunder, which will destroy us too, I can feel the sufferings of millions and yet, if I look up into the heavens, I think that it will all come right, that this cruelty too will end, and that peace and tranquility will return again.” – Anne Frank
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Parent alienation is enjoyed by the parent that is inflicting the pain, they are not bothered about anyone elses feelings, they are only obsessed with their own. If they can create a negative feeling in their child they feel they are getting their feelings across. When folie a deux takes place they are on a high, they actually enjoy it. The only way to combat it, is let them think they are right, but enjoy yourself without letting them know, it’s difficult, but you end up knowing that is the only way to overcome this problem.
Being an active reader and writer on the subject of “Family” and “Children’s Rights” I read your blog with interest. An important element that is missing from the STOP PAS movement is the element of accountability. My own ex became abusive after his brother moved to Florida and the two of them started eating pills. He wound up cleaning out my bank accounts, and left our 22 month old son and me pregnant, broke, homeless and suffering from a severe case of postpartum depression that was spiraling into clinical depression due to the circumstances of my life. Of course he needs to be held accountable for abandoning his family, and of course, I want my son to know what his father is, so that my son, does not become the same kind of father, because my silence gave the message that ‘it’s ok to walk out on your family at a time when they need you most.” It’s not ‘parental alienation. Being left without a Daddy has caused my son confusion and pain, and he is wise beyond his years for having dealt with it. He should not have to be further confused about why I teach him one set of values about family, while I allow his father to ‘pretend’ to care about a child that he left homeless. We might not live in such a ‘permissive’ society if we embraced the realization that when you leave something you love, you lose the right to have it love you back.