Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Parental Alienation
In the process of alienation targeted parents need to understand how the alienator works. Most AP’S have issues that control the way they interact with others. In some cases of alienation there are factors that from their childhood. One example may be of some form of abandonment they felt when they were a child and during the separation/divorce process these issue arise again. This is one reasoning that “act out” with the children. In their mind frame they won’t let the child go as a form of punishment or because of fear that they will also lose the child in another abandonment issue.
While most other AP’S have NPI (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) these AP’s with this profile tend to be selfish and have no remorse for what they are doing to the children or the targeted parent. They cut off anyone who will get in the way of their mission. I found this article last week and thing it is a valuable asset in knowing the type of person you are up against. In most cases you already know the personality of your ex but for some this will be a new set of information to help in your battle of parental alienation.
http://www.psychologytoday.com//conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder
An individual with narcissistic personality disorder exhibits extreme self-importance, inability to empathize with others and heightened sensitivity to criticism. Self-involvement and lack of empathy characterize this personality disorder.
People with narcissistic personality disorder are frequently perfectionists and need to be the center of attention, receiving affection and admiration, and controlling the situation. To get the attention he craves, he may try to create crises that return the focus to him. Like patients with antisocial personality disorder, this person places entitlement issues at the fore. He feels that the world owes him, regardless of whether he makes a contribution.
Alcohol and other drugs (AOD) can induce states that mimic a personality disorder, but if an AOD-using person with a personality disorder abstains, only the symptoms of the personality disorder will still be evident. AOD use may trigger or aggravate a personality disorder. The course and severity of personality disorders can also be made worse if other psychiatric problems, such as mood, anxiety and psychotic disorders are present.
A patient with a personality disorder frequently uses AODs to relieve her symptoms: to raise self-esteem, decrease feelings of guilt and amplify feelings of diminished individuality.
Narcissistic personality disorder often leads to use of drugs, particularly stimulants. As a disinhibitor, alcohol may help lower anxiety and alleviate depression. A shy person with narcissistic personality disorder may depend on marijuana to relieve her social anxiety, while others use steroids to boost confidence in physical perfection. Without AODs, a person with narcissistic personality disorder may believe that others are overly critical or do not adequately appreciate her good qualities. In a crisis, she may become severely depressed.
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[...] Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Parental Alienation …One example may be of some form of abandonment they felt when they were a child and during the separation/divorce process these issue arise again. This is one reasoning that “act out” with the children. In their mind frame they won’t … [...]
Most alienating parents meet the diagnostic criteria for a personality disorder, a pervasive and distorted relational style, including narcissism and borderline personality. A related finding is that many of the alienating parents appeared to have features of narcissistic and/or have a borderline personality disorder.
When I discovered this information, I dropped my teeth! Wow! I knew that my parents using my brother and me as pawns was damaging, abusive, and downright wrong. Now to read that the parents who engage in this toxicity (PAS) are predominately personality disordered, which fits BOTH of my parents (mother- BPD and Dad- NPD), I was doubly floored. My childhood path was not a coincidence. All of this fits together– from the bizarre behavior of my mother, the self absorbed actions of my Dad, the horrible divorce battle, only being able to have one parent in your life at a time, to having parents pit one against the other. The way all of this links together is amazing:
My mother has BPD –> BPD women typically marry narcissist –> my Dad has NPD –> when BPD women divorce NPD men, the divorce is typically drawn out and nasty: Narcissistic and Borderline Couples –> My mother and Dad indeed had a tumultuous, long, and destructive divorce that lasted over a decade and cost each over $30,000 –> 20 years ago (after my parents divorced) PAS was termed and completely describes what my brother and I went through at the hands of our parents. My parents used us kids as pawns in their divorce. Further, they used brainwashing, emotional abuse, manipulation, control tactics, and turning the kids against the other parent. TO THIS DAY, my brother and I cannot have a relationship with both parents—it’s one or the other. This is the way it’s been since the divorce was initiated.
Thanks for the information about Narcissism– I know your research, analysis, and post will help people fight this horrible situation.