Non Custodial Mothers Day October 28
Today is Non Custodial Mothers Day. You will not find this on any calendar or even really talked about unless you are going through this yourself. This is a day that no one wants to celebrate but the facts are there are many parents that are ripped out of their child’s life. I support both parents but I will say this all cases are unique. In various cases where moms are non custodial it is not by choice but by force. Abuse does happen in homes and some stories are fabricated but good mothers are losing their children to abusive spouses.
I understand all too well from my past that these situations happen. We are at a loss on how to overcome the pain and obstacles always in the way to reunification. Today is not a day we want to celebrate but is a solid start to awareness. You are not alone and many mothers are going through this. We were crushed on every side to get out of the relationship and then made out to be the “abuser”.
In no way am I saying that this is truth in all cases and I support fathers as well, but I don’t support any abusive behavior. I always find it odd that we have feminists that are very detailed on their stance about abuse. I’m often in awe of their view that parental alienation does not exist, just because one case has a certain outcome does not mean every case is the same way. Today is a day to start a conversation with someone who does not know about alienation. Just start with “Today is Non Custodial Mother’s Day”
I have written a poem that i would like to share
A Mom Without Her Children
People used to say to me “How come you don’t have your children, usually it’s the Mother who gets custody”, and I would feel like screaming, because it was true. It was also painful and humiliating. If the person was a friend I would help them to understand that I’d never intended for it to happen. I’d explain that I’d left the relationship “temporarily” in order to help my husband to realize what hell he was creating in the house, but instead of him looking at his own behavior he simply changed the locks on the door and began to tell everyone I’d abandoned them. Meanwhile the Chamber Magistrate refused my application for a “domestic violence order” because I didn’t have any injuries to show him. I didn’t have bruises that time, but I knew if I went back home I’d have more than bruises as I had over the years. That meant I had nobody to help me get him out of the house. So I ended up in a refuge and eventually alone, and him with all the kids, in my house.