Today is a day that I look back seventeen years and remember your first breathe.  I can easily remember you moving inside me and when you wanted into this world it was when you wanted.  Every year was and is a milestone of laughter and fond memories.  Your first year of life was hard because of you being born a preemie but you and I were glued together from the very beginning.

Your first birthday was decorated with Mickey Mouse and mommy like normal went all out for my dudda bugs special occasion. You were fascinated by your animated Barney and water tether.  You grew so fast and then fell head over heels with the Lion King.  Simba was a trademark I will never forget and you slept with that bear every night.  I look back on these memories and cherish them as every parent does.  Your birthday was always a great celebration, even on your third birthday when we had a huge party at Chuckie Cheese and you and I played in the ball pit for hours.  Your fourth birthday in Wisconsin and I made your beautiful bear cake but Aladdin was the theme and you were nervous because you had girls there from your Pre K class.

I have a memory of every birthday while you were growing up even your birthdays when you were older and we had 15 boys over playing football in the dark until we all were frozen pop cycles.  These are the memories we both share.  You are becoming a man and the time has gone by so fast.

I know in my heart you love me despite what you say or do.  I want you to have a wonderful birthday as I have given you every year.  You are not forgotten and no matter what everyone says I’m still your biggest fan and mother.  My door is always open to you to talk o to even lie in my lap as you always did, I miss watching you play video games or even our battles in Guitar Hero. 

I pray today that you find love and hope.

 Justin my love is always here and has never gone away.  You are my son and nobody will take that from me.  In time I know we will be together again.  Enjoy your day and when you close your eyes to blow out your candles that I’m there in your mind, heart, and spirit. Mommy loves her dudda bug.

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